start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
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1330831008 | 1330855817 | t3_qgppr | t5_2to41 | 182 | kinda_alone: Welcome everyone.
First of all, welcome everyone. I would appreciate it if you would spread the word about this so we can get this community to grow. Since I am new to this moderating thing, if you have any tips or advice please message me.
**Edit** Over 300 subscribers in a little over an hour. Im thri... | 5 | 36.4 | |
1330833771 | 1330850410 | t3_qgrfz | t5_2to41 | 30 | Drunken_Economist: What is tifu?
I jsut came here from [/r/all](/r/all) . . . what it this place for?
javixm: It's to share stories of you fucking up :P
Drunken_Economist: So . . . my memoirs
armaniac: Welcome! :) I just got here too.
| 4 | 7.5 | |
1330833710 | 1330834641 | t3_qgret | t5_2to41 | 67 | IchooseYou: A few weeks ago, I packed my work uniform, lunch, keys and wallet into my backpack and placed it by the door. I then fetched my bike, pushed it straight past my bag to outside and pulled the door shut. That was not a fun shift
kinda_alone: And so it begins...
[deleted]: Somebody had to get the ball rolling... | 5 | 13.4 | |
1330835298 | 1330891105 | t3_qgsda | t5_2to41 | 139 | kinda_alone: Last week I thought I had locked myself in my car, and spent a good fifteen minutes freaking out, only to remember that one can fairly easily unlock car doors from the inside
MilwMonstr: i had a 1987 bmw 325i, you could actually lock someone in if you wanted to. it was 10 years ago, but IIRC, you had to... | 5 | 27.8 | |
1330835406 | 1335559942 | t3_qgsfy | t5_2to41 | 577 | Fusrohduh: -Tifu, almost potential lock down of school with 3000 people visiting.
I work as a police officer, and I was working security at a large multi school function today. Approximately 3000 people from surrounding schools were in attendance for multiple activities.
ate lunch, needless to say epic dump proceeded... | 14 | 41.214286 | |
1330836427 | 1330882421 | t3_qgt3d | t5_2to41 | 44 | ShNaeb: TIFU car "broke" down at a junction
Not really today, but still a massive fuck up.
I thought my cars engine died on me at a busy junction when I was hungover - I was trying to drive to work. I sat there for 5 minutes or so with my hazard lights on panicing. Then I realised I'd just stalled the car and had no i... | 5 | 8.8 | |
1330837406 | 1330860042 | t3_qgtp4 | t5_2to41 | 77 | fartonme: Last semester I was in my dorm and I decided to make cup noodles. Forgot to add water.
Microwave filled with noxious smoke. Room soon followed. Opened the door and it spilled out into the hallway and set off the fire alarm. Evacuated an entire dorm-full of pissed off freshmen. Everything belonging to me, my r... | 4 | 19.25 | |
1330837715 | 1330909875 | t3_qgtvr | t5_2to41 | 249 | OttoBSleeping: Drove to work...forgot and took bus home.
Parked in a paid lot too, so I had to pay for two days. grrrr.
ABear123: Similar for me,
Forget I parked in spot right outside of classroom building.
Take school shuttle all the way to parking garage on other side of campus.
daderade: your school has parking... | 4 | 62.25 | |
1330836039 | 1330892173 | t3_qgstx | t5_2to41 | 173 | jeremyrs: Unrolled tootsie roll, put wrapper in my mouth and threw the tootsie roll away
Wasn't today, but I remember doing this
bruzdnconfuzd: If it was one of those mutant fruit bastard variety, then you did it right.
magnetnerd: Hey, those are delicious, the only time I get those is on the 4th of July parades.
piexi... | 4 | 43.25 | |
1330838793 | 1330842828 | t3_qguiq | t5_2to41 | 10 | Nosrep: Today I took a shower and uncharacteristically grabbed my body wash before my shampoo. I didn't realize my mistake until i had started massaging it through my hair.
lizteach: Not a FU unless you LEFT IT IN YOUR HAIR.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH: The damage had been done
| 3 | 3.333333 | |
1330843374 | 1330879874 | t3_qgx27 | t5_2to41 | 22 | [deleted]: TIFU: Took a shower, public university bathroom 12 doors down, forgot my towel.
ez617: This happened to me my freshman year, had to use my tshirt to dry off.
warboy: Only freshmen year? Well I feel bad now.
ez617: Well....it did happen to me just the other day, but I have a private shower now so it doesn't... | 4 | 5.5 | |
1330843066 | 1330847408 | t3_qgwwv | t5_2to41 | 10 | WheelOfFish: That's not my alarm clock, that's a fire alarm.
Way back when I was a freshman in college I was awakened by a shrieking noise. I sat bolt upright in my bed and began smashing my alarm clock with great intent. My roommate eventually sat up and basically started yelling at and cheering me on as I continued... | 3 | 3.333333 | |
1330842768 | 1330862890 | t3_qgwri | t5_2to41 | 16 | BraileZ: TIFU frozen pizza
Was hungry put a frozen pizza in the oven without taking it out of the shrink wrap didn't realize till it was too late.
warboy: You still ate it, right?
fenixjr: of course he did, what kind of a fool would throw out a pizza?
BenjaminGeiger: Doesn't matter, had pizza.
| 4 | 4 | |
1330845814 | 1330955062 | t3_qgy6m | t5_2to41 | 59 | TimePanda: I stopped at a green light today
After coming to a complete stop, the wife says "uhh, it's green..."
Pinky676767: I was visiting my girlfriend at collage for the first time last week stopped at two green lights then ran a red one... A cop was following me the whole time And was not very impressed
Flanman1337... | 4 | 14.75 | |
1330853575 | 1330892700 | t3_qgyvy | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: I just went to zeds dead! In Saskatoon.
velidb: went to the one in chicago! zeds dead is amazing.
[deleted]: It was the first time I broke out my PK earplugs. Daaayymm.
| 3 | 1 | |
1330843270 | 1330955563 | t3_qgx0g | t5_2to41 | 98 | Peter100000: TIFU my roommate's sex-skype with his girlfriend, because I farted too loud.
His girlfriend thought they were alone, i promised my roomate i wouldn't make a noise. (I was playing skyrim in my room)
I thought it would have been a silent one...
CoconutCurry: Wait, either he said he was alone and he was in y... | 4 | 24.5 | |
1330843551 | 1330850476 | t3_qgx50 | t5_2to41 | 15 | WiseGuySteve: Ran into a door, but it gets better...
Today I was walking into my dorm building and noticed this one particular girls butt was pretty much hanging out of her sweatpants. Whilst starting at said butt someone was holding the door open for me, of course I didn't notice this and ran straight into the door...... | 3 | 5 | |
1330842309 | 1330851175 | t3_qgwij | t5_2to41 | 5 | hb_alien: TIFU - Mixed up garbage disposal with my plate.
This morning I made scrambled eggs, bacon and sausage. I took the pan off the burner and dumped it's contents right into the sink.
Ended up having a smoothie and toast for breakfast. While making said smoothie I pured in grapefruit juice instead of OJ and my ... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1330847889 | 1330850807 | t3_qgz2k | t5_2to41 | 5 | leftundone: TIFU: I transported my PC to a friends house an hour away for a LAN party, only to forget my monitor's base.
Didn't have anything to prop the monitor up with so I couldn't use it.
hurdur1: Two large textbooks? Or phonebooks? Or just put it against a wall?
leftundone: The way my monitor is, the base is simp... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1330848391 | 1331147909 | t3_qgz9k | t5_2to41 | 9 | thisisaninch: A couple days ago I FU'd by flipping my hair at high velocity and smoking myself in the forehead with a mop handle.
I still have a giant goose egg and a bruise, right in the middle of my forehead, to remind me how much of an idiot I was. :(
shuazien: Pics or it didn't happen...
(c'mon, you should've kno... | 4 | 2.25 | |
1330848876 | 1330884661 | t3_qgzfu | t5_2to41 | 8 | KlumzyNinja: How many of us are from r/trees?
armaniac: Nice try, officer.
KlumzyNinja: Lol. These just seem like things I'd do when I'm high
| 3 | 2.666667 | |
1330850415 | 1330942768 | t3_qgzzo | t5_2to41 | 5 | TyrannicalDuck: TIFU - Jumped into the swimming pool while still wearing my sunglasses
[deleted]: OH GOD
TyrannicalDuck: I KNOW, RIGHT?!
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1330854389 | 1330979490 | t3_qh1bb | t5_2to41 | 106 | DumBum: TIFU - Fell asleep on the bullet train, got locked inside
It didn't happen today, but I normally commute to downtown to meet up with a friend or two. That day though (maybe two weeks ago), I got so tired though that I fell asleep on the train. I woke up about an hour later after we had arrived at the final de... | 4 | 26.5 | |
1330836200 | 1330889859 | t3_qgsxr | t5_2to41 | 45 | olithraz: TIFU Decided to solder a large wire at school... Right under the smoke detector. Good thing it was a weekend...
The firemen just laughed at me, as did my team mates.
thecolorplaid: Don't sweat it, dude, the year 12 chemistry class at my school has set off the fire alarm about 4 times now since December.
olith... | 3 | 15 | |
1330856507 | 1330946276 | t3_qh1wz | t5_2to41 | 51 | VonBrewskie: Popped the top off a Newcastle Ale...directly into my eye...there's more....
Tried to set the bottle down too fast. Broke the bottle. Glass fell to the floor. I wasn't wearing shoes. Cut my foot. I'm just sitting here, clutching my foot and waiting for the asteroid to bounce of my neighbor's car into my fa... | 5 | 10.2 | |
1330864793 | 1330870229 | t3_qh41q | t5_2to41 | 60 | lowfrequency1: Got a jinormous erection in the WORST place!!
I fell asleep supine (on my back) on my friends gf's bed, with both of them in the room, wake up and I immediately feel this huge sleep boner. I open my eyes to see the damn thing and the two of them smirking at me. AWKWARD
Magrias: And here I was thinking yo... | 3 | 20 | |
1330853973 | 1330920834 | t3_qh16c | t5_2to41 | 74 | aardvark445: Left my new 800 dollar laptop on the hood of my friend's car. Saw something fly past the sun roof and thought "What the fuck was that?!?!"
It was a total loss. Only it's RAM lives on.
bobicez: Wait. What happened?
aardvark445: We were drinking at the lake. Met up with some fun ladies and got a little dist... | 4 | 18.5 | |
1330860468 | 1333874679 | t3_qh2wq | t5_2to41 | 20 | karlstar: nevermind TIFU, everyday I do something borderline retarded.
a whole buncha shit i do.
* pour cola into a bowl
* cereal into a cup
* put milk in cupboard, cereal in fridge
* get fork with cereal, try to eat cereal with fork, realise my mistake
* where are my shoes? i'm wearing them...
* lose my iPod, give up... | 4 | 5 | |
1330853339 | 1330906026 | t3_qh0ys | t5_2to41 | 32 | lvlegabyte: TIFU when I opened the door to the wrong car that was to pick me up.
Not having a car I have a friend come pick me up from work sometimes. I work at the mall during after hours (10pm -3 am). A car comes down I open the door and sit in then hear a scream. Then I had to explain I thought they were my ride - s... | 3 | 10.666667 | |
1330890933 | 1330912541 | t3_qhhk3 | t5_2to41 | 33 | canipaybycheck: New rules- trial period
Hey everyone, I am your new mod, and I'm getting ready to implement a couple of new rules. I would love your feedback in the comments. Here are the rules:
1. Every post must begin with "TIFU" (similar to TIL)
2. Only self-posts.
Any more suggestions for rules are greatly appr... | 8 | 4.125 | |
1330889068 | 1330992732 | t3_qhg7o | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: I poured my milk into the bowl before the cereal.
Twad: What's wrong with that?
Magrias: Imagine a pool.
Now imagine you throw a class of students into it.
| 3 | 1 | |
1330892947 | 1334107434 | t3_qhj2a | t5_2to41 | 19 | CollectionOfAssholes: Was waiting for the light to turn green, only to realize that I was at a stop sign.
Was there for a good two minutes.
[deleted]: I had a stoner friend who got pulled over by a four-way stop.
He went through the intersection, looked in the mirror, and saw a flashing red light. He panicked, pulled... | 3 | 6.333333 | |
1330901568 | 1330904074 | t3_qhpf5 | t5_2to41 | 5 | solareon: TIFU - I lost my rental car keys
I lost the keys to my rental car while at the gym. Took over 5 hours to find them. Was the greatest feeling when they were found.
b2717: Where were they?
solareon: when my phone fell out of my pocket as I was putting my jeans in my gym bag the key must have fallen out as well ... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1330907556 | 1330909658 | t3_qhtmu | t5_2to41 | 12 | JesusofTorn: TIFU by destroying a brand new £200 A/
T tyre
I was working on my dad's Land Rover, he needed a bit of bumper grinding off for better ground clearance off road. I did the left side no problem because the wheels were on full right lock. Went round to the right side, started griding and suddenly, I heard a m... | 3 | 4 | |
1330928652 | 1330996602 | t3_qhl18 | t5_2to41 | 12 | Theonenerd: I subscribed to this subreddit before it was popular.
leftundone: I lurked this reddit before it was popular.
kinda_alone: I created this reddit before it was popular.
| 3 | 4 | |
1330908574 | 1330930171 | t3_qhuf0 | t5_2to41 | 199 | [deleted]: I went to smack my dog on the butt, he moved and my finger went right in his pooper.
[deleted]: He probably didn't even have you sleep on the couch. Why can't women be more like dogs.
I_Will_Allow_This: I thought women liked it when you do stuff like that.
OneNationUnderCCTV: Not all of us allow that.
fiv... | 5 | 39.8 | |
1330894976 | 1330913449 | t3_qhkm1 | t5_2to41 | 20 | kanguen: Tifu, punched myself in the eye while trying to shoo a moth.
I said all there is, though it was not just a finger slapping it, I literally punched it. Had to put ice bag on it for about 30 mins.
jimaug87: I'm no masochist, but I find fun in doing something to myself I can't normally do.
You punched yourself ... | 4 | 5 | |
1330907003 | 1330964154 | t3_qht8j | t5_2to41 | 13 | LadyLurksAlot: TIFU: Realized my pizza was done; kept surfing reddit until it was burnt.
I was re-heating my pizza in the oven, and could tell by smell it was done. "Okay, just this last link..." Finally the smell of charcoal caught my attention. Dammit, Reddit.
A couple bites were still edible, but most of it was too... | 3 | 4.333333 | |
1330912265 | 1330998520 | t3_qhx5y | t5_2to41 | 24 | [deleted]: TIFU - I made my dog pee in the house
Every night before my family goes to sleep, we have to let the dog out to pee for the night. Well, one night I was coming home late and it fell to me as the last person up to let him out. It was late, and I forgot. I woke up to my mom's outraged scream as she discovered ... | 3 | 8 | |
1330922226 | 1330994466 | t3_qi4lr | t5_2to41 | 17 | warboy: IFU awhile ago and totalled my car in my girlfriends driveway by hitting her car
Let me set the scene for you. My girlfriend and I both live out in the country. She practically doesn't have any neighbors because she is so far away from the road. So we both go to the same college and at the time both commuted to... | 3 | 5.666667 | |
1330924343 | 1330977684 | t3_qi64k | t5_2to41 | 26 | kinda_alone: TIFU needs a logo
First of all, thank you everyone for the successful first day. Second, as the title may imply, we need a logo. If anyone has any ideas or entries, please submit them. Please up vote this self post for which I get no karma so that others may see it.
Also, if any of you guys could actually... | 4 | 6.5 | |
1330916966 | 1330976906 | t3_qi0pr | t5_2to41 | 50 | reppit: TIFU: Was leaving work, put my topcoat on, my hand slipped on the silk lining and I punched myself in the face.
I have a bruise on my face.
tomkzinti: This sounds more like /r/firstworldproblems material, but sure.
Just...how? How do you punch yourself putting on a coat?
reppit: I had one arm in my sleeve and... | 3 | 16.666667 | |
1330954198 | 1331004883 | t3_qiixm | t5_2to41 | 178 | bathedinsanely: TIFU. Tried to cough discreetly into my shoulder, ended up horking a massive loogie down the front of my dress.
My friend was telling me a story, and I felt a little tickle in my throat. I knew I needed to cough, but I didn't want to interrupt her, so I thought I'd pull my shirt up and cough into my sh... | 3 | 59.333333 | |
1330966099 | 1330978996 | t3_qiq93 | t5_2to41 | 83 | Spiderdan: The DIFU: Leaving campus for spring break and lock myself out of my car. When I finally get in, I drive 70+ miles home before I realize my I left my computer sitting in the parking lot.
Locked my keys in the trunk.
Spent an hour and a half waiting for AAA.
Finally got keys.
So ready to go home.
Get ... | 4 | 20.75 | |
1330981435 | 1332561287 | t3_qj2no | t5_2to41 | 18 | tomkzinti: TIFU by replacing a leaky toilet fill valve. Now the old tank seal is leaking everywhere, I had to turn the water off and I HAVE TO POOP!
I think the title says it all. I'll just be outside in the rain behind the rhododendron bush with a roll of mountain money for a bit...*sigh*
InSorteDiaboli: Im surely too... | 3 | 6 | |
1331017829 | 1331140367 | t3_qjvlu | t5_2to41 | 41 | bnm3424: IFUO; A necklace leads to what was probably a minor concussion.
While getting ready for my first date I was putting on a necklace. At the time I had really long hair and so, I flipped my head over to do the clasp, at which point I knocked my head off of the bed post.
I landed in my desk chair, not on purpose,... | 4 | 10.25 | |
1331050390 | 1331055879 | t3_qk9wx | t5_2to41 | 24 | Illpackallama: LNIFU Was eating dinner and nose started to itch, so I scratched it with my fork and kept eating.
I was talking to my wife at dinner last night, and my nose began to itch on the inside. Not really thinking, I proceeded to use the fork to scratch the inside of my nose, and then continued to eat. Meanwhile... | 3 | 8 | |
1331055614 | 1332912069 | t3_qkdy6 | t5_2to41 | 527 | b0w3n: I went to fart discreetly at my desk at work. I shit my pants and stained the chair.
title says it all
Illpackallama: When you're running into first, and you feel something burst...
spazmodic-: When you're pulling into home and your pants fill with loam...
[deleted]: When you're sliding past third and you you ... | 11 | 47.909091 | |
1331085077 | 1331096055 | t3_ql1ok | t5_2to41 | 24 | starrynightgirl: TIFU I yelled at my father for picking up my phone calls and he left the apt sadden
I dont care that he wanted to greet my boyfriend, I really really really hate when someone picks up my phone calls and starts to have conversations with people that wanted to talk to ME. It makes me feel like my privac... | 4 | 6 | |
1331134656 | 1331422360 | t3_qltg8 | t5_2to41 | 107 | ikifoo: TIFU... set a floppy disc drive on fire.
I was re-assembling an old computer. Plugged in the floppy drive and turned the computer on to witness a bright red light and smoke.
Turns out if you put the power plug in upside-down, you get fire.
In my defence... it was an old drive which actually let you plug the p... | 4 | 26.75 | |
1331146254 | 1331173311 | t3_qm2jr | t5_2to41 | 37 | actually_a_wolf: TIFU and crashed someone else's bike into a car
i'm short, and my friend is of average height. i went to borrow her bike so i could ride with my friend to the campus center to pick up food. i forgot that i am short.
my legs barely reached the pedals and i ended up losing control of the bike and crashi... | 4 | 9.25 | |
1331159131 | 1331246077 | t3_qmdcw | t5_2to41 | 100 | [deleted]: TIFU. Plumber working on my pipes, told us not to flush any toilets. Completely forgot and took a piss and flushed the toilet. He's face down in a hole then all of a sudden he gets covered in toilet water and piss.
Fuck. I'm hiding and am scared to confront him.
Matt872000: I'm curious as to why they didn't ... | 6 | 16.666667 | |
1330859540 | 1331340544 | t3_qh2on | t5_2to41 | 18 | ZapaBasoran: 1000 feet from the federal building
Got a new 9mm and took it out to the range. With in 30 rounds it [stove piped](http://theshootersblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/Glock-19-Stovepipe.jpg) 3 times. At home cleaning the the pistol I noticed a build up of guncoat (bake on paint used to protect metal) o... | 6 | 3 | |
1331358994 | 1333311317 | t3_qpzs0 | t5_2to41 | 112 | siiika1: TIFU: Took a dump so huge that it wouldn't flush down the toilet... had to use a butter knife to cut it down to size.
Actually, my roommate did this, not me. She proceeded to tell me about it while leaving the apartment and I sat in gaping astonishment while she recounted her desperate situation. She was late ... | 4 | 28 | |
1330849709 | 1331505146 | t3_qgzqd | t5_2to41 | 2 | saints_chyc: tifu Only shaved one leg...
When I need to rid myself of that awful body hair, I tend to start at one ankle and work my way up and around... Got caught up making the hoo-ha area extra nice, then moved on to other parts... Got out to lotion up and right leg and arm were NOTICEABLY hairier!
Dafuq, Brain?!... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1331399724 | 1331515949 | t3_qqf96 | t5_2to41 | 117 | canipaybycheck: Announcement: The Fuck-up of the Week
We are happy to announce the introduction of the "Fuck-up of the Week". Flair reading something along the lines of "Fucked up bad" will be given on Sunday to the user who is deemed to have fucked up the worst in the past week, and they will keep this flair for the n... | 9 | 13 | |
1331416371 | 1331420324 | t3_qqqd8 | t5_2to41 | 59 | JesusofTorn: TIFU: By nearly drowning myself in
greasy, toxic water.
I was cleaning my oven with a big bowl of water and chemical degreaser, my phone went off which made me jump, knocked myself out on the roof of the oven and landed face first in the bowl of water, woke up about 10-15 seconds later coughing up water a... | 3 | 19.666667 | |
1331409756 | 1335696679 | t3_qqlsp | t5_2to41 | 46 | Ran4: TIFU: I left potatoes in the dark for a month. Now I'm afraid of potatoes.
iddothat: Where's POTATO_IN_MY_ANUS when you need him?
[deleted]: Why is that guy everywhere?
killerkram: I have been wondering that as well. He seems to be everywhere from politics, to aww
leicanthrope: Isn't POTATO_IN_MY_ANUS a girl &am... | 5 | 9.2 | |
1331488574 | 1331742888 | t3_qrpgj | t5_2to41 | 40 | lov3disshit: TIFU when i downloaded the windows 8 consumer preview.
I was having problems with adobe, so i wanted to just uninstall it and go back to windows 7... apparently you have to re-download all of windows 7. Which I didn't install originally to begin with :(
[deleted]: duuuuuudee... rookie mistake. you NEVER in... | 11 | 3.636364 | |
1331498922 | 1333674683 | t3_qrwvj | t5_2to41 | 157 | ez617: TIFU when I locked myself out of the house I'm housesitting
I'm housesitting and dogsitting this weekend. I locked the handle of the door to the backyard last night because I couldn't figure out the deadbolt; when I let their dogs out this morning, I didn't unlock the handle. So I went out and threw the dogs' to... | 10 | 15.7 | |
1331531918 | 1331601489 | t3_qskf5 | t5_2to41 | 68 | NickTheHalfling: TIFU when I cooked a plate instead of a tortilla.
Long story short, I went to heat a tortilla over my stove, grabbed a plastic plate instead.
neryam: Well, at least you didn't use a ceramic plate, which I did, once.. That was a fun surprise.
NickTheHalfling: Mother of god, did it explode? D:
neryam: Y... | 4 | 17 | |
1331523745 | 1339022166 | t3_qsf89 | t5_2to41 | 32 | naemly: TIFU - went to piss, foreskin got in the way, stood there stunned while piss sprayed everywhere except the toilet
BootlessTuna: I was circumcised, yet they left just enough foreskin so that I don't need lube when I fap. I'm very pleased.
12345dhooves: High five.
BootlessTuna: Its honestly great. Such a conveni... | 9 | 3.555556 | |
1331587725 | 1331600052 | t3_qthua | t5_2to41 | 75 | scraggz111: TIFU. Woke up hungover went to take a leak started vomming mid stream.
Woke up at a girls place desperate for a piss still feeling a bit wasted. I'm not sure if I'm feeling sick or if I'm hungry so I ignore it. Half way through and suddenly I start heaving which causes my entire body to convulse which, in t... | 3 | 25 | |
1331658777 | 1331692855 | t3_qurn9 | t5_2to41 | 107 | kayjaykay: TIFU Couldn't figure out why everything was so steamy...
...I was still wearing my glasses. In the shower.
[deleted]: rusty glasses. nice
Sheadog369: Your frames shouldn't be rusting after something like this. Hell, if they're rusting at all, you're buying some really shitty glasses.
spazmodic-: Yeah, the s... | 4 | 26.75 | |
1331688459 | 1331882559 | t3_qvgwa | t5_2to41 | 136 | T_cubed: TIFU by tripping at the finish line
I run the 400m dash in my junior high track team. As I was nearing the finish line I lost my balance and tripped over it. I heard the entire crowd cringe at the sight of me face planting into the ground. I ran it in 60 seconds, one second away from getting a ribbon.
loveatth... | 6 | 22.666667 | |
1331856976 | 1334210102 | t3_qym3e | t5_2to41 | 2 | iwaskhazard: TIFU- my girlfriend was way too horny,
and (thinking her period was over) we got it on in my bathroom. i didn't realize she was still bleeding and i've never experienced that before. i pulled out and there was blood everywhere. it smelt pretty bad too.
[deleted]: double check she doesn't have a tampon stu... | 4 | 0.5 | |
1331854488 | 1333471329 | t3_qyk1u | t5_2to41 | 51 | notcleverchris: TIFU making a good first impression
So today during lunch at my high school, I was talking with my friend and we were having a laugh. Two of his friends, whom I have never met came up and said what's up. I recognized one of them from my math class and gave him a handshake. Then his black friend held out... | 4 | 12.75 | |
1331064262 | 1331874826 | t3_qkkyg | t5_2to41 | 5 | thecampo: TIFU When I made coffee put in the sugar went to
grab the cream.
forgot and put in more sugar.... And that was the last of the coffee....
[deleted]: I hate coffee unless I make it saturated with sugar. I was at a hotel recently that gives free coffee in the morning, so I took some (yes, you guessed it) deca... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1331909347 | 1331952695 | t3_qzf3r | t5_2to41 | 120 | SnizzPants: TIFU Have been putting all my sweaty, shitty, semen stained underwear in a bag. In order to make the bag more compact I squeezed out all the air that's been sitting in there, into my face.
I actually keep doing this. I'm traveling so I constantly have a bag of gross nasty underwear in a bag. And I always ne... | 7 | 17.142857 | |
1331934634 | 1331960469 | t3_qzzl2 | t5_2to41 | 90 | Jenewein: TIFU when I didn't act more crazy when they were picking who was gonna get picked at jury duty.
I should've spent less time talking about my college experience and more about how I spend all day on a website trying to be funny so I can get imaginary points.
[deleted]: Repeat after me, Jury Nullification. Th... | 6 | 15 | |
1332011453 | 1332032960 | t3_r13hq | t5_2to41 | 63 | kinda_alone: Possible Logo Ideas
We have had a couple of logo submissions. What do you guys think?
[Option 1](http://dl.dropbox.com/u/9119917/tifu.gif) submitted by Left-Hand-Path
[Option 2](http://i.imgur.com/j0wU3.png) submitted by SaltyChristian
Also I would like to introduce two new Mods: SaltyChristian and rya... | 4 | 15.75 | |
1332033552 | 1332456400 | t3_r1hig | t5_2to41 | 29 | Cr6433: TIFU: I answered my cell phone at work...
So i work at our towns local YMCA and i am staff at the Youth center building,so, i open up no kids waiting to get in or anything, then i get a phone call from my good friend ( we toke together ) and starts asking if i wanna come over and smoke with him, and i was think... | 6 | 4.833333 | |
1332126400 | 1332178771 | t3_r2x5g | t5_2to41 | 139 | Thisguy92: TIFU by throwing urine into my own face.
I drunkenly decided to wee in a glass as it was easier than going to the toilet in my state of inhebriation. As i went to throw said effluvia out of my window, a window which is best described as a rickety victorian contraption that is a meter and a half high and open... | 5 | 27.8 | |
1332165563 | 1332501356 | t3_r3fu1 | t5_2to41 | 54 | [deleted]: TIFU by pissing in the trash can..
After coming home from a fantastic party, I was of course drunk. I realized I had to piss, and went straight for the trash can. I only realized it wasn't the toilet after I was done.
jayseesee85: My parents LOVE trotting out the story of when I was 6, sleepwalking, and they... | 4 | 13.5 | |
1332191750 | 1332211246 | t3_r40v5 | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU is it suppose to be ironic that "check out the new fuck of of the week!" is blocking half the titles of threads i open? Today YOU fucked up
Is there some way to get rid of it or will it always just be chilling annoying the hell out of me. blocks half the title of whatever is at the top of the page, and ... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1331517752 | 1332864992 | t3_qsap6 | t5_2to41 | 7 | Insanitybeat: TIFU by spraying water in my face...
I was washing a car (yes, I have to do chores, unlike you circlejerkers) and I was about to pick up the hose and spray the side of the vehicle to wash the soap off and I somehow pointed the hose at me and sprayed myself in the face... and I had glasses on. It was like ... | 7 | 1 | |
1332200933 | 1332970404 | t3_r48v6 | t5_2to41 | 399 | GOB224: TIFU by driving 20+ hours to go camping and forgetting my tent.
A few college friends and I drove from Massachusetts to Tennessee to camp in the smokey mountains. After about 20 hours of driving, we arrive and unpack to find that the tent was still at home.
We ended up buying one but it leaked in the rain so w... | 8 | 49.875 | |
1332127903 | 1332443478 | t3_r2y9e | t5_2to41 | 29 | CodyCarlile: TIFU by not eating the vitamin
Well actually this happened like a week ago, but it still fucking sucked. Anyway my brother and u were walking out of gamestop at the mall and saw that for some reason the vitamin store across from it had put out a sample of something called "B-12" so we each got one and i wa... | 6 | 4.833333 | |
1332211780 | 1332909021 | t3_r4i66 | t5_2to41 | 67 | 69swaglord420: TIFU: The fail poop to end all fail poops
This wasn't today, but it was last year in the dead of winter when I was going to Raleigh to visit my sister. Me and my family Decided to stop at PF changs to get some dinner and then go to the dicks sporting goods right across the street. As I walked inside I... | 7 | 9.571429 | |
1332230677 | 1332397952 | t3_r4twz | t5_2to41 | 143 | [deleted]: TIFU: and punched my boyfriend in the eye
he was laying on my chest, just like a lady would do to a guy but the opposite. I told him not to tickle my armpit... we had just gone through an intense 15 minute tickle fight and he went to move his head and I thought he was going to tickle my armpit by "nomming" i... | 9 | 15.888889 | |
1332235752 | 1334106546 | t3_r4vmq | t5_2to41 | 46 | andieOO7: TIFU walked into a tree
I was listening to music and saw this really hot guy walking down the street behind me, walking his dog. I always see this guy in the neighborhood, but sadly found out he is taken. ANYWAYS, I turned around to look at him and next thing I know, I'm just in a state of utter confusion. I'... | 4 | 11.5 | |
1332303738 | 1332311547 | t3_r6ahb | t5_2to41 | 169 | quarantines: TIFU by accidentally titling a paper "derp" and printing 20 copies for my class
I titled the paper "derp" just as a stand-in for an actual title until I could come up with something better. When I went to the printing lab on my campus and had my file printed, I realized that I'd completely overlooked my st... | 3 | 56.333333 | |
1332204844 | 1332361647 | t3_r4c72 | t5_2to41 | 23 | justme_3774: TIFU by letting myself run a two mile race, dammit.
Doing track, came in last, got lapped by all six other racers. And I'm skinny and short, too. Fml.
WhatTheGentlyCaress: dm;sr
moderator000: Doesn't matter; still ran?
WhatTheGentlyCaress: indeed, that needed supporting
:)
| 4 | 5.75 | |
1332310934 | 1332437381 | t3_r6ez2 | t5_2to41 | 54 | estrtshffl: TIFU by setting a dryer on fire in my dorm, causing an evacuation.
Well, I was washing my clothes, like you do. But this particular load of laundry was *massive.* I must have had a week and a half of dirty laundry in there, and I am not a small person.
Anyway, I take my clothes out of the washing machine, ... | 4 | 13.5 | |
1332420302 | 1334381166 | t3_r8a7d | t5_2to41 | 3 | illegal_people: TIFU by mistakenly burning my dick with a joint ash
so i was smoking this joint right while playing modern warfare 3 (the game sucks i know) and i was naked and shit, cause that's how a real nigga does it. so i was smoking, like any pothead would on a daily basis, and i had my dick hanging low, cause it... | 4 | 0.75 | |
1332431814 | 1332472449 | t3_r8hyv | t5_2to41 | 40 | [deleted]: TIFU: broke my phone charger
I accidentally ran my vaccum cleaner over my phone's charger cable and it [completely ate it up and tore it to bits](http://i.imgur.com/ZOhor.jpg). There's a tiny electrical burn on the carpet. Glad it didn't short the power or anything.
zifnab06: I'm impressed by your vacuum cl... | 5 | 8 | |
1332454573 | 1332571998 | t3_r9123 | t5_2to41 | 30 | druggedmonkey: TIFU: never put diseases in mail titles
Today I opend my mails in class to open a powerpoint presentation, but I forgot it was called herpes because it seemed funny at home, but not on the projector in the classroom, my whole class and 3 teachers saw it. I had to explain it to the principal, they called ... | 4 | 7.5 | |
1332458318 | 1333097586 | t3_r949d | t5_2to41 | 112 | danaluz: TIFU: Squeezed hand lotion on my toothbrush then started brushing my teeth
...they were in the same shaped tube.
ChiverMatt: I did this with honey; same fuck up, but tasty ;D. Don't ask why there was honey in the bathroom.
12murphyk: why was there honey in the bathroom?
ಠ\_ಠ
danaluz: > ... | 7 | 16 | |
1332405703 | 1332531805 | t3_r84xb | t5_2to41 | 13 | Kushie1: TIFU: Tried giving myself a haircut.
Bald spot on the back of my head. The rest of the haircut looks pretty nice. I have to get it fixed in the morning :(
Kushie1: Haha forgot I posted this. I ended up cutting it really short by myself and made it a short fade. Looks fine now. Took over an hour!~ im paying 1... | 3 | 4.333333 | |
1332508923 | 1333334520 | t3_r9x2k | t5_2to41 | 114 | Thundathury: TIFU: cat wanted me to hug her while i was peeing and fell into the toilet
I was peeing. Then my cat came into the toilet, jumped on the bathtub and wanted me to hug her. So basically, my cat fell into the toilet which was full of my pee
sadi89: I will be waiting for your next post.
TIFU: I gave my pissed ... | 9 | 12.666667 | |
1332534807 | 1332619867 | t3_rahgm | t5_2to41 | 38 | maldegro: TIFU: I got locked in the bathroom stall at my boyfriend's frat until one of his brothers broke down the door.
At no point did it occur to me to crawl underneath the stall.
NatecUDF: Out of curiosity, exactly how did you get locked in the stall? Lock breaks, no fuck up. You spontaneously forget how to use y... | 3 | 12.666667 | |
1332534179 | 1332588337 | t3_ragwo | t5_2to41 | 6 | purplejasmine: TIFU by apparently going too far... for 4chan.
Long story short, my friend said he'd try to find some Amanda Knox images for me (I'm a little obsessed). Whether joking or not, I wasn't sure, but it turned out he went onto 4chan and asked for Rule 34 on Amanda Knox. To which several people replied that he... | 3 | 2 | |
1332562662 | 1332637624 | t3_rb12g | t5_2to41 | 308 | Benjy741741: TIFU: Killed a dog
I was out on a casual bike ride this afternoon. Around 8 miles from my home, I approached a house with a notorious Rottweiler that likes to chase (and hurt) people. Well, the fucking thing takes off after me. I thought I could just burn it out of sheer speed, but he's on me like stink on... | 10 | 30.8 | |
1332515113 | 1332787851 | t3_ra14i | t5_2to41 | 20 | br0kenr3crd: TIFU: Threw my keys away and held onto the coffee cup
I was on my way out of my usual coffee stop heading to my truck for work and threw away my keys in the sidewalk garbage can and held onto the cup.
[deleted]: Oh man I've been there before. Several times actually. I would say that the worst instance was... | 4 | 5 | |
1332631798 | 1332804292 | t3_rc009 | t5_2to41 | 208 | [deleted]: TIFU: I went to fart in the shower, and explosive diarrhea came out.
disposablechild: I'm scared I will do this in a friend's shower one day. I've exploded into my boxers while peeing at a friends house once. That kind of sucked. "Hey man... if I were to ask you for a pair of boxers, no questions asked, wo... | 6 | 34.666667 | |
1332636541 | 1332705255 | t3_rc36o | t5_2to41 | 42 | [deleted]: TIFU: Threw an open water bottle onto my bed
I had been distracted by my phone while replacing the lid, so i absent-mindedly just did what I had been planning to do with the bottle before I was distracted. Now I have a soaking wet bed :(
Big_Pianist: No you pee'd your bed don't try and hide it.
tangomaureen... | 4 | 10.5 | |
1332645545 | 1333989765 | t3_rc94g | t5_2to41 | 95 | sleepinlight: TIFU by forgetting to lock my phone, which resulted in it accidentally sending the most recent picture I had taken to my 13 year old sister.
Which happened to be a picture of my girlfriend giving me head. I am mortified.
warboy: Pics or gtfo.
No one has a girlfriend here.
bibbleskit: lots of people ... | 7 | 13.571429 | |
1332710932 | 1332733995 | t3_rd6lp | t5_2to41 | 50 | funk100: TIFU: I spent my weekend on reddit
rudagarmylad: It took this post to make me realize how much human interaction I missed this weekend and or year
mrlr: But Reddit *is* human interaction, isn't it?
snidely_mustached: With out all the pesky human contact..
| 4 | 12.5 | |
1332723143 | 1332866559 | t3_rdg8y | t5_2to41 | 453 | bibbleskit: TIFU: rained hard and the sides of the streets are flooded, thought it would be fun if...
I drove my car into the giant puddles to make huge splashes. So I did. Didn't see the old lady. The force of the wave not only soaked her, but also made her disappear into a bush. She's ok though.
ifihadlegs: This crac... | 5 | 90.6 | |
1332728617 | 1332733521 | t3_rdkos | t5_2to41 | 5 | kirill14n: today I told my gf that nobody loves her
henaye_cochone: Was this one of those things where your brain and mouth have this conversation:
* Brain: Oh, I know! Say this! It's sweet, funny, and she'll love you for it
* Mouth: NO ONE LOVES YOU.
* Brain: WTF that's not what I said to say D:
tl;dr - back story?... | 4 | 1.25 |
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